As many Americans look to the future, I'd like to pay homage to the past and simultaneously introduce a new segment of The Vigilant Consumer - "Things That Make You Go Hmmm." I'm a very curious individual, and this segment is inspired by an extraordinary comedian, inspiring actor and Emmy Award Winning talk show host, Arsenio Hall. Did you know that the Things That Make You Go Hmm skit on "The Arsenio Hall Show" actually inspired the hit song by C+C Music Factory? And, for all you youngins, Arsenio could've won a multi-million dollar lawsuit against Randy Jackson and American Idol for their pilfering of the "Dogpound" or "Dawg Pound" if he himself hadn't stolen it from the Cleveland Browns. Speaking of lawsuit, I had the pleasure of attending jury duty this week. When the judge announced that this was to be a class action, civil case dealing with mesothelioma I knew this one would drag out for awhile. However, looking around the room, I noticed that many of my fellow citizens had puzzled looks on their faces, as though they wondered why we would be dealing a case taking place on the Tigris-Euphrates rivers, near Iraq. Not Mesopotamia...Mesothelioma. Not that I am smarter than my peers, but I watch a fair amount of TV, have done my share of online advertising, and like I said, I am a very curious person.
Therefore, I'd like to dedicate this inaugural segment of Things That Make You Go Hmmm to mesothelioma. If you haven't heard of it, that's a good thing. It's a very deadly type of cancer in which malignant cells develop in the mesothelium (the lining that protects many of your body's organs). In particular, it usually affects areas of the chest, the heart and lungs. As you may be thinking, however, mesothelioma is not caused by smoking. Rather, the majority of mesothelioma cases are due to asbestos, a group of minerals that are used in many industrial products including insulation, roof shingles and flooring. During manufacturing and installation, the cancerous particles easily became airborne, and are often inhaled by workers. Although some famous people (Steve McQueen, Warren Zevon, and Paul Gleason the actor who portrayed Principal Richard Vernon in The Breakfast Club) have died from mesothelioma, it is quite rare with only 2,000-4,000 new cases diagnosed each year. Chances are the word rings a bell because you've seen one of the many television ads featuring lawyers that can win you court judgements worth millions if "you or someone you know is suffering from or died due to mesothelioma." You may be wondering how these shady looking (think Law Offices ofJacoby and Myers) law firms have the budget to run such expansive campaigns. If that's not perplexing enough, why is the word "mesothelioma" one of the most expensive keywords (costing advertisers $20-40 per each click) for targeted ads on all the search engines?
The answer is simple. Class action lawsuits + huge awards = wealthy lawyers. Despite knowing of the dangers associated with asbestos for more than 60 years, manufacturers still continue to use it in their products. Therefore, victims and their families have received judgements worth billions of dollars to cover the cost of medical care, lost wages and in many cases punitive damages. In 2003 the Wall Street Journal reported that $54 billion had been paid out relating to asbestos cases, with more than half of that going to the lawyers. Since each additional victim adds another $1,000,000 or more (I'm just guessing here) to the value of the class action suit, then running these ads is a nobrainer . This is especially true in the online world where the law firms' ads are only exposed to those who are actively searching on the rare term "mesothelioma" and where they only have to pay when someone clicks the ad. Think about it. At $30 per click, even if only 1% of those that click become clients, the law firm will only be spending $3,000 for each new $1,000,000 client. That's not too shabby a return on investment.
Now, if only I can figure out what happened to Arsenio Hall!
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